Jesus as Tradition
Growing up, I knew Jesus and his ways as just part of tradition. I knew there was God whom I could pray to and ask for what I needed. But I didn’t recognize Him as the God I had to obey. Growing up in a broken family, I was perceived by my extended family as hard-headed and rebellious. And because I felt unappreciated and the least favorite among my cousins, I preferred to be away from my family and to do things my way.
Longing to Fill the Void
While studying in school, I would find ways to be involved in other activities so that I’d feel better about myself. I wanted to feel appreciated and accepted. I joined various groups, such writing and poetry, and I started my own band.
Prexy during her band days
Deep within me, I wanted to belong somewhere. I wanted to love and be loved. In college, I got myself into relationships and got my heart broken. To get over all the heartache, I finished college, found work, and continued playing in a band on the side. Then in 2008, I got myself involved with a guy who was cohabitating with his girlfriend. The relationship felt real between us, but I knew it was bad for me. Eventually, I broke up with him because it was wrong, and it felt as if he was never going to choose me over the girl.
Broken and Lost
The breakup hit me hard and brought me into depression. I contemplated on taking my own life, but while I was checking on options to kill myself, I ended up praying to God desperately. I asked Him to give me a new job so that I could begin again. I prayed, “God, Sino ka ba talaga? Kung totoo ka talaga, gusto kitang makilala.” (“God, who are you? If you are real, I want to know you!”) I asked that 1) this new job would pay higher and that 2) it would have a family-like environment. If He would answer these specific details, I would know that He was real.
God Finds Me
After a month, I signed a job offer and would eventually work in the same career for the next 6 years. All the details in my prayer were answered! In November 2009, my high school friend invited me to attend a Sunday afternoon service. Growing up with a “religion-mindset,” everything was new to me as I listened to the pastor’s preaching. The pastor shared from John 15:1-17, urging me to open up and seek God more. My friend invited me again to attend a small group meeting. In this group, I was encouraged to read the Bible and to know God personally by studying His Word. My prayer was being answered again – I was starting anew.
Prexy doing ministry
Whole in Christ
I was made new in Christ. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
Like any other Christian, when I started walking with Jesus, things were not easy. However, with prayers and continuous fellowship with other believers, I was able to overcome struggles, and I am continuously being sanctified. After fixing my relationship with Him, God led me to fix my relationship with my family. I was able to share the gospel to my Papa before he died in 2015. And as God commanded us to honor and respect our parents, my relationship with my Mama became better. I am continually reaching out and witnessing to her.
Prexy at one of her book launches
By God’s grace, God called me to write my story entitled, “BASAG: Bachelor in Nursing A Broken Heart, Major in Moving On,” which was published by OMF Literature in 2017. My book aims to minister to young single women who get their hearts broken in search of love through earthly relationships. I hope to point my readers to the only One who can satisfy the heart’s need—Jesus Christ. At present, I am discipling a small group of single women from our church, while serving in various ministries where God is calling me to through my gifts of writing and speaking.
Prexy Calvario is a 30-something joyfully single lady and a follower of Christ who loves music, poetry, and books. She's a mental health advocate, discipler, and volunteer in various church ministries and events. She's currently working in an Australian mortgage firm.