Bilang isang Millenial, after graduation, ang taas talaga ng pangarap ko. After maka-graduate ng Bachelor of Elemantary Education, mag-take ng Licensure Exam for Teachers and pass it, makapag-trabaho as a teacher sa isang school, mag-take ng Master’s degree and then after that mag-take ng Ph.D degree and be an excellent and renowned educator– that is my dream! Dreams na pinu-pursue ko since I was in high school kaya nag-aaral ako ng mabuti para makamit ko ang mga pangarap ko. Pero little did I know mas malaki pala ang dreams ng Lord para sa akin.
Pinalad akong magkaroon ng sunod sunod na trabaho matapos ang buhay kolehiyo. Una ay bilang isang contractual office staff ng isang unibersidad at sumunod naman ay naging guro sa elementarya. Napakadaling sabihin sa mga tagpong iyan na umaayon sa aking “plano” ang mga nangyayari sa aking buhay. But God’s dreams were different from mine. Alam ko sa puso ko that God is calling me to go full-time in the ministry. Pero imbis na mag-respond ako sa calling Niya, I kept on resisting it to pursue my own dreams.
“This is it! Abot kamay ko na talaga ang pangarap ko!”
In 2013, after working as a Contractual Office Staff in a University, I applied as an elementary teacher and got accepted. I said to God, “Kung makakakuha na ako ng Master’s degree at magiging professor, madami akong maiinvite sa youth service.” That was me bargaining with God para matupad ang mga pangarap ko.
During my first year of teaching, I was invited to attend the Kairos Course. It was a mission’s discipleship course. As I journey throughout the course, parang kumakatok nanaman si Lord sa akin para mag-full time ako sa ministry. In our last session, we watched a video of a missionary and she said in the last part of the video, “That is my story. What’s yours?” It became a question to me even when I got home. I also asked that question to myself, “Ano nga ba ang kwento ng buhay ko?” Na-realize ko that moment, God is really interrupting me.
Months after I finished the Kairos Course training, nag-decide ako maging Kairos course facilitator, so, I took the Kairos Facilitator Training Course and become a facilitator later on. Employed pa din ako as a teacher that time. Alam ko noong panahon na ‘yun inaabot ko ang mga pangarap ko habang inaabot naman ako ng Lord dahil may pangarap Siya sa akin. Dumating talaga sa point na napagod na akong abutin ang mga pangarap ko. Nakakapagod talagang makipaghabulan kay Lord!
During this burnt-out season, I decided to take a rest and go to the Prayer Mountain in Antipolo to pray and commune with God. Noong nasa prayer cell ako sa Prayer Mountain, I really cried out to God with all of my heart, “Lord, ngayong araw na po na ito, na-corner Niyo na po ako, Alam kong simula pa lang pagka-graduate ko gusto mo na ako mag-full time sa ministry. Today, Lord, I say Yes.” Nung araw na ‘yun na-corner na ako ni God and I decided to live for His dreams for me in one condition. I said to God, “Kung may magtatanong po sa akin, if I want to go full-time in the ministry, I will say, Yes.”
After ko sa Prayer Mountain, bumalik ako sa Manila and attended church. If my memory serves me right, It was in the evening of November 2, 2014. ‘Di ko malilimutan ang moment na ‘to. Nasa bangko kami ng friend ko dahil sinamahan namin ang aming Pastor na mag-withdraw. After that, bigla siyang lumingon sa akin and looked at me straight in my eyes. She asked me, “My heart ka ba mag-full time?” then, naisip ko what I prayed at the Prayer Mountain. I was curious at that time kung paano nalaman ng pastor ko ang prayer ko. She asked me again, “My heart ka ba mag-full time?” and I have given my weak “Yes” at that time and I don’t know kung ano ang mararating ng Yes ko kay Lord.
Hindi ko alam ang bigger picture nang pag-respond ko sa calling ng Lord and making His dreams my dreams. It was in 2015 when I started to be in the full-time ministry as an Admin Staff in our Church. I also enrolled at the Missionary Training Program of the Asian Center for Missions that time. Hindi ko ma-imagine na dadalhin ako ng Lord sa mga lugar sa Pilipinas at mga bansang na hindi ko naman talaga pinangarap since I was a child para ibahagi ang pagmamahal ng Lord sa mga people groups at mag-mobilize ng mga churches through the Kairos course. ’Pag pinili mong tuparin ang pangarap ng Diyos para sa buhay mo, You will really be amazed dahil beyond pa ito sa mga expectations mo.
Gusto ko muling itanong ‘yung tanong na nakapagpabago ng buhay ko:
“This is my story, what’s yours?”
Pero nakasulat sa Scriptures,
“Yung hindi pa nakikita o naririnig ng mga tao, yung mga hindi nila ine-expect na mangyayari, yun ang hinanda ng Diyos para sa mga nagmamahal sa kanya.” – 1 Corinthians 2:9 Pinoy Version
Igy Zafe
Igy Zafe dreams of seeing Rev. 7:9 in his generation. He is actively mobilizing the Body of Christ through the Kairos Course. He is also the Administrative Staff of JIL U-Belt and the Layout Artist of One Voice Magazine.
