Pursued by the Provider

Writing a testimony for me is not easy. I never thought a story such as mine would ever bring meaning to people but I need to try… for them.

I grew up with my mom and dad, a perfect family– until the day my dad died due to cancer. After that incident, I realized that my family wasn’t perfect. We entered into a lot of debt in the first 5 years of Dad’s death. Don’t get me wrong; my dad loved us. He left money and other things for us, but through the years, many problems arose, forcing us to borrow money to pay these debts. We thought this might make everything easier. But it didn’t. Borrowing only made it worse.

Since I was a Daddy’s girl and I was broken by his death, I became very rebellious in high school. I made terrible mistakes way back then, but it was during this time that I got to learn about God.

My school had a church inside its premises because it was a Christian school. We were required to attend the anniversary concert of the youth group within the church. I was invited by Ate Kristel, a person whom I looked up to. Despite my being known as a regular visitor at the Guidance Office, I was encouraged by her to go. She didn’t look at me as if I were a naughty girl or like I could never change, which was the way I saw myself.

I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior on November 20, 2009—the same day I attended  the anniversary concert of the youth group. Things changed for me, but I still found myself committing sins while I was growing in my relationship with Jesus. In the next year, 2010, Ate Kristel  invited me to join a youth camp in Laguna. I recommitted my life to the Lord and until today, I am still a work in progress.

I had many tests ever since the day I accepted Christ into my life. I realized that being a Christian doesn’t mean having a smooth journey. I’ve learned this: the Lord allows His children to go through various challenges to see how well we apply His commands, His Word, in our lives.

The greatest challenge I went through recently was the waiting period for my college journey. My family had financial problems, and so getting through college was the most unimaginable thing for me to happen. I lost hope in fulfilling my dreams of graduating from college. I was able to take my 1st year in college, but I did not continue due to financial reasons.

Yet God blessed me with the most generous people in my life. An uncle and I were distant from each other, not due to his residency in the United States, but because we didn’t have any kind of connection relationally. In 2015, I received a message from my sister in the U.S., and she talked to me, telling me that my uncle wanted to provide for my studies.

I praised God so much, I cried. He was making my impossible dream come true.

My whole college journey wasn’t smooth. I almost gave up, but God did not let that happen. Neither did I. I admit: I had bad relationships with my classmates, and I couldn’t relate well with my professors. I also had a romantic relationship that took me far from the Lord— a relationship that I knew was not from God. I gave in to temptation and followed my fleshly desires.

Months passed.  I reverted to the person I was before I had met God. I grew distant from Him. One night, I knew He was knocking on my heart’s door, pursuing me again, saving me from my thoughts and selfish plans I had for myself. I was hurting myself with all my selfishness and was buried in my thoughts of failure; thinking I should have been like this, like that, for me, for my family. The Lord came to me, reminding me of who I was in His eyes. I prayed that night, crying for help.

God showed me how His grace is unending. It is His love, His love that is greater than my sins. He won me from me. He won me again. He didn’t stop pursuing me. He constantly reminded me of who I will always be in Him.

Now, I want to praise Him for all that He has done for me—especially because He made the unimaginable come true. I was able to graduate from college. It’s not fiction anymore. It’s now a fact. I graduated last March 30, 2019. I may have lost my father 11 years ago, but I am blessed to find another Father in our Heavenly Lord.

I have my story of hope and transformation, and I’ll never get tired of persevering. I’ll continue on.

God is at work in all of us. He knows every hurt and every worry we have. He is carrying these for us.

I know I need to tell this story because this is the same story I would have wanted to know a few months before my season of waiting.

Now, I work part-time as an Assistant Secretary at our local church. I have also been a Music Ministry member for 9 years now.

To God be the Glory.